I have an awful lot to say right now, and there's nobody to hear it.
Nobody has been quite themselves lately. I know I don't feel like me. Some of these personality changes have been really sudden, and some of them I'm just finally sick of.
A.
I simply love you to death. You're absolutely awesome, and if only you would have some self confidence and believe it. Of all the people I've met and become friends with and high school, you are absolutely one of the best, and I'm incredibly glad that we have the relationship that we do, and I can only look forward to future days to see what they might bring.
B.
You're a brother I never had, and you know it. I'd do next to anything to help you out and it's going to take quite a lot for you to loose me and you know it. But sometimes, I feel like to take advantage of that. Knowing that I'll sacrifice something that I really want if it will help someone else, and the few times I object because I want it that badly, you get bent out of shape. You don't have to keep so many things from me, because it actually offends me quite a bit when you do.
C.
Hey. What the fuck is your deal? I don't even feel like I know who you are anymore. I even hesitate to call you family now, that's how bad things have gotten. I get it, you're a big kid and you can make you're own choices, but who you are now just isn't you anymore, and everyone around you can see it, as well as the cause. I hate it when you blow me off for other people, and simply ignoring me doesn't fix the situation. I hope someday we'll be friends again, like we used to be.
D.
I never really noticed when this happened, but we're really good friends. I had never pegged that we'd be friends, but we are and I'm really glad of it. But you're changing lately. We bicker a lot now, and you act like you're better than us when you hang out with us. You've gone from laughing along side to turning your nose up and walking away. Why?
E.
We're absolutely more alike than either one of us will ever admit, and I think that's how things ended up like they are. I miss hanging out with you, because now things are just a big mess, and it's only going to get messier. You're fickle now, and simply move from one thing to another, and so it seems that you've found a better crowd of people to hang out with now. So be it.
F.
We became friends by connection, and I guess to you, that doesn't mean much. I'm one of the only people you never want to hang out with it seems. We have our differences, but that's no reason to so blatantly exclude me. And the only times you talk to me? When you need advice that only I can give.
G.
Haha. You're so freaking strange. I'd have never pegged you to be who you are, and for each new leaf that becomes overturned, I'm still not surprised. What I want to say to you, why do you feel the need to make me responsible for your misfortune? This was an example of when I did something to make me happy first, because otherwise it wouldn't have happened. And now you just give me grief about it. I'm sorry, I did what I could.
H.
Oh you. You've been special all along, and you're going to be big someday, and I only hope you'll remember me when you are. We find common ground and interest in how our differences are alike, and how the things that are alike are different. Some stuff might not have gone so great in the past, but don't sweat it, I'll have your back covered as long as I can, that's what family is there for.
I.
I simply wish you knew the stress you put on me. There are times when I really need you to be around to help me, and you just aren't there. Maybe in the future, you'll realize what you did to me, but it'll be too late then. I'll be far away. Maybe I'll see you again sometime in the future and you'll understand. But for now, I just need you to block out some of those distractions and help me.
Those aren't even all the people I would like to say things to.
Life right now has been kind of suckish. Symphonic band got our first Silver rating in over 10 years. Not the way that I wanted to end my legacy of outstanding accomplishments, but there's nothing that can be done about it now.
Suddenly my dad has found god. I'm fine with that, except now he's trying to shove it down my throat. Out of the blue, he goes to some spiritual retreat, and comes back all preachy and wearing a cross every time I see him. I love all religion, everyone has their own thing that works for them. But here, in Hamilton County, there's nothing that works for me. I could go on and list issue after issue with every church I've been to over the last 3 years, but that would be a bore.
I need to find my follow-through mentality or else I'm never going to finish painting my room.
That being said, I need to tackle my Sunday to-do list.
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