Im sad deep down that I'll never take that stage again, but this can only lead to new opportunities, and maybe even a new stage to take some day. I'm thrilled to have been voted Best Thespian, even though I don't know how those votes worked out. But I'm fine now knowing. I only wish that I had won at least one actual trophy or medal in my days, and not just a bunch of papers and patches.
I feel like I have the emotional capacity and understanding of a potato right now. And that really sucks.
Prom just came and went, and I was really excited for it. But I felt like it sucked, a lot.
There was drama within our group, drama that I could tell was pending, and then there were the ones who somehow got caught in between. Long story short, something that didn't directly effect me ended up fucking up my senior prom.
Sorry. But I would have like to dance with my date more than twice. I even punched someone in the face when they tried to steal in. That isn't even what bothered me the most. For easily 40 minutes. I just walked back and forth to the drinks, pretending to be thirsty, because I didn't want to stand there with nobody to dance with. And hell it even still happened at after prom, but at least I knew it was going to happen that time, instead of just turning around and being by myself. It was a masquerade theme, but I ended up wearing a mask the whole night.
Tomorrow I leave for disney world on the band trip. I imagine that I'll pretty much just shut down for a long time once I get back.
I don't even know what to do.
I've designed my brain to be a maze, and now I'm the one lost.
People ask, but I hate being needy.
People ask, but not the right questions.
People ask, but I'm not functioning properly.
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