More than the Usual College Experience

I've been living up here for almost a month now, and I don't know where the time went.

The longer that I've been up here, the more I miss my family. Not the ones I share a name with, the family of friends that I had back in Westfield. I miss my real family too, but it's not nearly as bad.

I'm happy that there's a number of people that I've been able to keep up with, even parents. I had planned on keeping in touch with the following people who graduated.

Tim, Collin, Bret, Blake, Will, Ariel, Amber and Sarah St.

I never thought that I would have to work to get any kind of reply from any of them.

-I see Tim often enough, and we text at least once a week, and have seen each other already.

-Collin wont even talk to me. I don't know what's happened to him. I send him texts, call him on skype, talk on facebook, and he never seems to want to talk to me. Of the 21 text messages I sent him, he replied to 1, and all he said was "nice". And it's tough because I'm reminded of Collin every time I play my trumpet in wind ensemble, because he's not next to me to count with and high five during the rests.

-I've talked to Bret a LOT. We skype at least once a week, and text like daily.

-I've only heard from Blake twice, but I know he's busy, and I know it's not intentional, it's how he was in high school too.

-I talk to Will now and again, but nothing super intensive.

-I've probably talked to and seen Ariel the most of anyone, in person that is, Bret wins electronically.

-I talk to Amber regularly in the evenings. I'd say every 2 or three nights we text for an hour or so.

-Sarah and I skype some, but that's it.

And there's people I've been in touch with I didn't plan to be in touch with, but I'm happy about it.

-Amanda and I talk quite a bit on facebook and skype.

-Jess and I have had more conversations than I thought we would.

Still, I miss everyone really badly. And I think that 2 or 3 days of high school would do me a lot of good, to see everyone and make me feel like myself again. You see, I hit a dramatic change when I came here, because nobody really knows me and how I act and stuff. And I miss hugging people, there's a lack of hugs here. And I miss the kids still in high school, and two or three people that are a year ahead of me at other colleges. But I know I'll see them over the summer once everyone comes back.

Open house ends in 11 minutes, meaning all females get kicked out of the entire dorm. It's a dumb rule.

I wish I could let everyone know what they mean to me, and how badly I feel for taking them all for granted. You see people for some 8 odd years like every day, and you take them for granted, even the people I didn't like, I wish they were here. I find myself even missing the people that drove me mad in high school, namely Eddie. And I never thought I'd say that.

So my tip to whoever might be reading this. If you're still in high school, don't wait to blow through your senior year. It'll go fast enough. Let it soak in, and enjoy all the little moments. Even just sitting out in the courtyard eating lunch with friends is one of my favorite memories of high school, and walking through the halls and knowing who everyone is. It's the smaller things that make up the big picture. And that's the most insightful thing I've said in a long time.

I'm done with the mopey shit now. Time to get to my current life.

I find myself debating if I want to be a music major. Like every other day, I love it. And I find myself enjoying instruments other than trumpet, like a lot more than the trumpet itself. Im planning a minor in political science. And as for my major, I don't know if I want to go into politics or not. I feel like I could be really good in that field. And I think that I'd enjoy TV Entertainment as well. I really should have taken an exploratory set of classes.

And I think I'm decided that I'll transfer after this year, but possibly two years. I love some of the people I've met here, they're growing on me super fast. But the school itself, and all of it's god-loving is wearing thin on me.

And this next bit is the total guy in me, but the girls here really leave something to be desired. Even the ones that are super similar to me all seem to have this hidden side to them that's all conservative and religious. And in the past, those really haven't even been an issue to me. But they are now, and I can't place it. There's like 1 in 20 here that are totally normal girls, and they just happened to have ended up at Anderson, just like me. And they know that they're 1 in 20, so that rules out my chances. But I can't neglect this side of it. I've met some girls who are totally wonderful and totally great. And I found that by wearing a suit, you meet a lot more girls.

Something that I've neglected to say up until this point, not only on this, but to almost everyone in general. I feel like a stereotypical pig of a guy, because I really shouldn't be even looking, because I've been quazi-seeing someone since the tail end of summer. I don't know how it happened, but I'm hoping to have some answers this thursday.

And for those that enjoyed the ways I used to blog, with metaphors and junk, don't worry, because I'll be back to that style soon enough.

As always. If you're reading this, you know how to reach me.

Forgotten Memories

I'll do a quick summary of everything since my last post.

Basically, I've been at school. A lot.

I have 17 credit hours, and there are 5 that Im taking for 0 credit, so really 22.

I got sick of commuting, and I got a dorm up there. I moved up on friday the 10th. Today, Saturday, I came back because I needed to take care of some stuff, and I ended up deciding to spend the night here, because I didn't want to waste the gas driving back up to Anderson when I was going to come back to Westfield the next day.

Oh! And at Anderson, I found a new Chris Nagy. His name is Alex Hester, and he keeps trying to talk to me and follow me everywhere. Im ignoring him as much as possible and making better friends. His roommate doesn't care for him either, but he thinks I'm being a bit extreme. Oh just wait, I know I'm right about this guy, and soon enough you'll all be ignoring him like I do.

But I'll get to what's really got me going today.

I was driving around Westfield. And as dumb as this might sound, being moved out for even just one night has made a huge difference. Coming home, I didn't feel like I had to stay here, and I could leave whenever I wanted to. And now it's where I grew up, and not where I live. Again, I know, one night away. But it's made a huge difference.

But I was at a stop light that I've been at hundreds of times, and I remembered something, and it's the kind of memory that you never want to forget, because it's just that kind of fun.

Sometimes we, usually a combination of Tim, Collin and Blake, would drive around, and while scanning radio stations, sometimes we would land on a rock station. So at red lights, we'd have the music turned out, and I would go crazy with air guitar and drums, just to make people look at us. It's one of those dumb high school memories that I don't ever want to forget. And it's making me feel kinda bummed that those days are over, when they seemed like they took so long at the time.

But that's not even what I'm writing about tonight.

I was recently able to find my oldest friend on facebook. We meet in 1st grade on the playground, back when boys and girls had cooties. We were each other exception to the cooties rule. My first best friend was in fact a girl, and each of our respective groups of friends gave us so much crap for it, but we didn't care.

We were best friends until the day I moved, and my mom actually let me spend my last day in Kansas hanging out with her at her house. And when my mom came to pick me up, I realized I had left my box of pokemon cards in her room, and needed to go get them. She had put her favorite stuffed animal in the box to give to me. And it's not until I'm thinking about it like 9 years later that I realize how awesome that was. I still have that stuffed animal, and I've hardly gone anywhere without it. It's right by my bed right now actually, and it was the first thing I put on my list of stuff that needs to go back to Anderson with me tomorrow. Think what you will, I don't care.

I'd be back in Kansas from time to time, and I'd call her and we'd try to find a way to hang out. It's been a really long time since we got to hang out. Like really really long. I haven't seen her in like 4 or 5 years. I'd send her an email from time to time, but once of us would always be too busy to reply.

Well I found her on facebook, which pretty much made my day.

All I knew about her, is that last time I saw her, she was wearing fish-nets, and was in a sub-emo phase. Which still doesn't bother me at all. And I knew she played the violin. That's it.

So Im really amazed right now, because we were so alike when we were younger, but we ended up growing up in totally different areas and ways, yet somehow ended up pretty similar.

And so the blunt of this, is that I wish I had never moved at all, because I decided a long long time ago, when I still lived in Kansas, that I had found my perfect match. I'm pretty convinced that I was right about that, for the time being. All of my speculations have been made from reading her profile info and glancing at some photos. She grew up pretty decently, in my opinion. I know Im being super judgmental about this though, but I would know. Where ever she had her braces done, they could have done a better job. I saw a gap or two that, with all my experience with the orthodontist, even I would know how to close up.

Wow that was a strange tangent to get off track with.

Well I'm super excited to get back in touch with her, like without a doubt. But there's that lovely little part of me that's convinced, and has been for a long long time, that we would have been perfect together. She doesn't live in Kansas anymore either, she lives in Maine and goes to a small liberal arts college. She loves the environment and supports gay marriage. She doesn't like traditional religion at all. We spent the last 9 years growing up in different places. I'm as stunned as anyone.

But according to many photos and such, she's got a guy. And I think she could do much better, but this is all from judging on pictures. His profile was set up with super privacy. I will say, that he doesn't seem like a bad guy, really. AND we have almost identical taste in threadless t-shirts. (I KNOW!!!) But that' that. And now I'm super curious what would have happened if I had never moved, because this guy seems like me, only he looks funnier that I do. Not the "haha" funny, but the "...Oh.. that's his normal face" funny. Thinking about this makes me feel like kind of a bad person, in a way. I've got another date tomorrow, but all I can seem to think about is my old friend and getting to catch up. And I know for sure that this wouldn't be such a problem if they were a guy. But the girl I'm seeing is pretty understanding about stuff like this, and if I explain the back story if it comes up, I don't anticipate much of any kind of problem.

Now it's time for bed.

Oh! And I remember how much she HATES graham crackers, and how we both thought that cheez-its were the best things in the world. I wonder if her views on graham crackers have changed...