Apocalyptic Dreams

Last night, as many others before it, I had an apocalyptic dream.

They're pretty entertaining, but stressful as hell while your asleep.

I always end up as one of the survivors of the apocalypse, and I know about it before everyone else does but nobody will listen to me.

There's usually three others with me. Sometimes there's two females, usually just one though.

This time it was about nature trying to kill everyone and start the world over.

First, there were these really weird mutant frogs, but I was the only one to notice them. But them the like massed together and turned into a monster thing. The four of us ran from that.

We stayed at a hotel for a night to rest, but then in the morning the wave of stuff had almost caught up, and we just about left the chick behind, but she ran out to the car and jumped in at we were speeding away. We were also in a convertible.

And then before I knew it, plants and stuff were taking over everything and everything was green, ever the air. And instead of driving away from it like everybody else, we drove straight into where it was coming from. Eventually we found a house, which shouldn't have been standing since all the invasive plants and stuff had grown through already. But the guy that lived there, who was one of our fathers, had sealed the house shut 100% and had everything he needed to live. So we broke in and stayed there. And he had a lot of animals and some of them had been taken over by the plant stuff and were trying to attack us.

We ended up just staying there for a really long time, and nothing ever got better. I think all the other humans died.

But anyway, I'm really confused as to why I have so many lately.

Now to life.

Exams are over! I don't even know where that trimester went, it just like just starting, and then it was over. I'm in such a daze. But exams being over means one thing, dinner. Before dinner, Tim, Dana and I went to the fashion mall. They decided I needed to look like a prep, so they took me to Abercrombie and Fitch and put me in a 300 dollar outfit that was uncomfortably tight, but looked really good I guess. Then they took me to Lucky and dressed me up. I was somewhat ok with that one, even though it was even more expensive. And I don't understand what is going on with the zipper in fashion right now. What's wrong with the zipper? Why must it be replaced by three buttons? I guess I'll never know.

And now I'm hitting the point of no concentration.

Who Needs a Judge When You're This Critical?

I'm the most wish-washy freaking person right now. I can't stick with anything.

I'm going back and forth, back and forth about what I want to do all the time. I'm totally rethinking all of my thoughts for college as well.

Partially, I think it's due to the fact that I'm involved in everything imaginable, and they've all needed 120% of their normal attention lately.

Thespian is getting to it's pivotal point I feel, just that sweet spot where everything is happening. And it's just Sarah and I doing everything, which is kind of nice because it's easy to come up with common ideas and stuff, and the rest of the year is just about set.

Chem Club has been taking up way more than it's alloted time. Interviews are like 3 days a week for next year's officers. Last year I was elected, and there were just four of us. The 5th whined and bitched enough that she got the last officer title, and basically doesn't think I should be an officer, and that I "got all your(my) band and theatre friends to come and vote for you". Yeah, I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was working on all the projects everyday and that people generally know me and like me. This year we didn't elect new ones in the beginning, and we went from 5 to 3 officers. And I honestly think that the three of us kick ass working together. We finally get Tim back soon. He was there today. I'm glad he's back, but I wish he'd step off just a bit. Alex, Gretta and I have the whole election thing all planned out. His input is useful, but right now we don't need it, and yeah.. That probably sounded really asshole-ish, but that's how I feel.

Young Democrats basically has one officer, me. I love Kaylee to death, but she's not suited for it. Her idea of planning stuff is talking about it on facebook or texting. When it comes to go out and do it, that's where it goes wrong. Tim kinda took the hint I needed a hand with things there and that's nice, but the rest of the club needs to remember that I'm still the head of the organization, and when I'm explaining what we're going to be doing, that they need to be listening to me, and everyone else needs to shut the hell up.

There's a band concert in a couple of weeks, the music is coming along nicely for the most part.

There's a choir concert tomorrow, and that's going to be alright. I don't think it'll be our best exactly, but it's going to go as they go, and Vocal Jazz is going to own the rest.

The musical is just flying by. It felt like there was so much more time last year, and maybe it's because I was actually in music numbers and stuff and was working on numbers that relied heavily on me; solo, Minstrel, Jester and I, and Normandy, plus large songs, and then choreography for most of them. I guess maybe I was there a lot more. But still, it's just flying by and it's crazy how fast opening night is coming up.

Way back when, I wrote about the job that Mr. Sands offered me, along with the title of "Brass lieutenant". I didn't really tell a ton of people because it wasn't 100% and I didn't want certain people hearing about it. Well I guess that Kyle went and asked Mr. Sands too. And I guess he only remembers that he talked to someone about it, and told Kyle, almost word for word, what he told me, including that he would have the title of "Brass lieutenant". That pisses me off and I'm going to get that fixed within the week. That's my job, biotch.

I'm gonna go check on my dinner, I'm hungry. This isn't all I have to say. Most of what I have left would be for a "Last person in the car" situation, which hasn't happened in forever, so there could be some kind of exception in the near future.

Chimes In The Background

This week was kinda of painfully slow, even for a 4 day week.

I ended up thinking a lot about jobs this week too, not like a job now, but a real one. Even talked to Dave about it.

Yeah, I want to go with music. I pretty sure that's what I want to do. But there's some factors that go along side with it. I'm afraid I'm not going to enjoy playing nearly as much if it becomes my job, because it's not going to be what I do for fun, it's going to be what I do for money. That makes me take a step back. And the odds are, I'm not going to become some famous trumpet player that will make tons of money. It just doesn't happen. Society doesn't want to buy an album of just trumpet, they want people singing poorly into electronic pitch-correcting microphones. And if I don't get lucky and make it big with a group, all I'm left with is music education. I love band, but not enough to make it my job. The money's simply not in it.

I've essentially entirely ruled out cooking for a job as well. I don't want to be some lame cook in the back of a chain-restaurant that makes the same 25 dishes every day. I don't want to do that at all. I want to bake things in a situation that I control. And I even read up on internships for chefs and bakers. Basically, I will never have the time to do one. And chefs don't get to have time off. Think about it. You like to go out and be around in town, go out to eat on weekends, yes? Well, the chefs don't, the weekends are when they're busiest. And getting a good time off for Holidays? Somebody has to cook for all those other people going to with family to celebrate the Holidays.

*Sigh*

This has not been such a terrific week.

Started with Pancakes and Glitches, ending with me rethinking what I'll be doing for a living. Somewhere in the middle though, I got me a good dose of "sun", which kept me relaxed for a day or so.

I'd Like Pancakes, With a Side of Glitches

ISSMA was shit. I can't believe I did that poorly, and I know it's my fault.

Scherzo, the group that was supposed to go to state if we played blindfolded. Dave and I looked at dozens of quintets last year, and I finally came to pick this one. During first trimester I got to hand-pick who I wanted to play in the group. I had total control over this. I picked a song that was hard in it's own rights, a challenge. Some of the members, well they're weaknesses were what this song focused on, and I picked them anyway. I was stupid. Scherzo got a silver. I knew at the final chord we got a silver.

Pink Panther was the other one that was my fault. Just half a point from taking it to state. I played baritone for this song. A two measure solo was it, that was what I had, and I killed it. Not killed it as in a played it well. Killed it as in I looked away from my music for a split second and lost my place entirely and missed the whole thing. Half a point was in those two measures, I know it.

Spiritual Jazz was risky, but we went for it. I feel confident saying that I was one of the better people on that piece. Granted that I'm a trumpet player playing the tuba, I did really well. 16.5. Not even close.

The two choir pieces got golds. Antiphony No. 1 and Sonoran Desert Harmonies.

And I can't even accredit the night before to anything that went wrong.

The party was a lot of fun, and I got out of there around 12:30, so I got my 8 hours of sleep.

I don't think that I had ever pictured that I would have enjoyed myself so much.

Today I went to Ihop with a ton of people.

It was good. 2 eggs, 2 strips of bacon, 2 servings of hash browns, and 10 pancakes. I think I got my money's worth. Not to mention my new pitcher.

Early on though, that was where some big glitches came up. And I had never imagined them in my wildest train of thought.

I know it wasn't purposeful, what happened, but I'm kind of resentful for it, because I feel like I got robbed of something. I'm deliberately not saying what happened though, not here.

I'll see what happens. Life keeps going, because these things are just a part of it.

And who knows, maybe that's what was supposed to happen.

Scratch that. It was what was supposed to happen, because it did happen. There's some of my rarely seen philosophical side.

Time for bed.