Week One Plus Three Days

Second week has started of the semester, it's not too bad. My books are all in except for one which I ran out of cash to buy, so I'm kind of screwed on that. Classes are starting to get a bit more intense and whatnot, assignments are gonna be due soon. But the plus side is that I can actually do them now because I have the books.

Meteorology is a serious contender for a major or minor right now. All we've done so far in the class is study clouds and finished learning how to isopleth, and both are kind of fantastic. International Policy is a really interesting class, and I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be learning yet, but I'm doing really well in the class discussions because I feel like it's all common sense. But then lies the question, in a class of 60, why are only like 8 of us talking if it's all common sense. Leadership Communications is a really easy so far, first assignment is due tomorrow at midnight. Friday we played with clay to show what leadership means to us, so of course I made dinosaurs with mine. Marching Band is marching band, the other new guy I complained about last time is really starting to get under my skin, but he wants to quit the ensemble anyway, he said it's not worth his time and he doesn't care about marching band like he used to. That's Mon/Wed/Fri.

Environmental Law is without a doubt my least enjoyed class so far, just because it's full of grad students and adults returning to get their under gads, I'm the youngest without a doubt. Intro to Landscaping seems really cool, but there's no book for the class, so I'm kind of confused on that. Then Statesmen is the male chorus, not much else to it, and then campus bands, which is just super easy music.

I'm sitting in the study lounge above my floor because despite having Peter gone like all day, I wanted some more privacy, and I'm not looking forward to going back now because this quiet time is just what I needed, no tv's, no music, no roommate, no people in the hallways or bathroom, just me, myself, and my thoughts. Got to talk to Kaylee for a length of time which was nice.

My weekend was alright, worked plenty, played some magic, did some yard work, and got some things resolved. I guess I'm kind of officially employed at American Eagle, I'm not exactly sure of the specifics on it, but I at least work there for floor sets, though wouldn't mind working more as sales staff while I' home. My dogs hardcore didn't want me to leave either, it was one of the most adorable things I've seen them do and I hope I never forget it.

-The lights on the other half of the study room just shut off because they're motion activated, and I get the sensor can't see me over here.

So I guess I've just got one thing kind of persisting in my head. I tried to talk about it earlier, but it was super hard to find what I was trying to say, because I hadn't thought about it depth enough. Saw Lauren for about 20 minutes while I was home. It was the first time I had seen her one on one since sometime really early in the summer. I had bumped into her just around Westfield over the summer, but that's what happens when someone works at a movie theatre and when I go back to see how the band is doing. I had her birthday gift to get her because her birthday was early in the summer before everything got weirdish. It was something that I might have used in the very far future, but ultimately I didn't want or need it. I couldn't get it to her on her actual birthday because her mom was possibly being nosey, and the item wasn't entirely legal in my possession, let alone hers.

It was cool seeing her this weekend, she's a cool enough person, and as for the remaining high school kids that I know go, she's alright. I was alright to see her because getting her birthday present off of my dresser was like the last rock left in my shoe. It's gone, and now I'm comfortable as ever. But anyways, I've got to get to bed, because I have my early class tomorrow, and I've been typing this for over an hour.

This has been my allotted "I'm so important and I like to talk about me" time for a few days. Tootles!

Snap Keep Real College

If you don't understand the title, then you're not cool enough to explain it to.

I've got about 90 minutes to kill before I need to head to my first class today, so I'm just kind of looking for something to fill the time. I moved around my morning for two things, skype, and the fact that now I've got marching band for two hours, and that a 45 minute workout in the morning isn't quite as important Mon/Wed/Fri. I kind of feel fantastic though, because all I ever want to do now is work out, and it's only been like a week, it's like that first good stretch after you wake up, except like whenever I want it.

I'm ok with my classes right now, even though I feel like I'm already way behind in everything. I don't like environmental law and policy that much, mainly because the room is so hot that it makes me feel sick, and my leadership communication class kind of sucks too, the professor(the only one that I have that isn't a Doctor) treats us like we're little kids, and says certain words really weird, and has a big gap in her front teeth. Otherwise, she seems alright. It's nice having lecture hall style classes, it's what I wanted in college, to be able to take it upon myself to learn the material, and not have to rely on an instructor that sucks like they did at Anderson.

Marching Band is fantastic. They're still writing me into the show, so I only get to hop in like every third run or so and it's just for a minute or two, otherwise I'm on the sidelines playing for now. I was the 20th trumpet, and then some other guy joined, bumping it up to 21, which actually upset the section because they enjoy even numbers. I was requested to join their facebook group too, and I saw they had a two day discussion about me. I also saw that next Friday there's a "sectional" at one of the upperclassmen's apartment, I'm looking forward to it, especially because theres, I think, 6 or 7 guys in the section. A bulk of the marching band itself is female, it blew my mind.

Two things have come up that I remember hating. Listening to a section leader(I have three for BSU Pride) and having to start from scratch reputation wise. During Statesmen(male chorus) the guy next to me asked if I knew which part was the second tenor, like seriously asked me if I knew what part to look at. I almost made a really rude comment because I was insulted, then remembered I have no reputation or credibility here. And at Pride the other new guy was talking down to me. I'm playing 3rd trumpet for now, but I anticipate that changing, because just sight-reading I was playing better than them. It's not even hard music. But the other new guy was playing just a ton of wrong notes, and then asked if I had ever seen a marching band before. Whoa, hold up. And then I almost made another really rude comment, and remembered my lack of credibility and reputation. That's gonna be my downfall in life, is having to rebuild my credibility every time I go somewhere new. And while we were on the sidelines we were chatting a little bit, and he joined because he needed an ensemble, and couldn't understand why I joined for fun. Then pretty much went on a spiel about what a horn dog he is, without saying it. Yeah, sure, I can dig the male:female ratio in the section, but it's not worth a 15 minute conversation you ass.

One day, the things I write on here are really gonna come back and bite me in the ass.

Nothing else worth mentioning. Well, that's a lie, there's a few other things going on that are pretty neat, but I don't quite have the words yet to put anything on here yet. I'll just say that I'm looking forward to the next time that everyone is back in Westfield on some kind of break, which will most likely be Thanksgiving unless I feel like going for a drive. And with that, I might have just said enough :p.

255

So this is officially my first post from within my new dorm.

My roommate spent the night with his girlfriend, so I had the room to myself over night for the first time. It's cold cold and I think the humidity in the room is kind of high, but I can deal with it. Peter is alright, but we don't seem to have a ton in common. I think he's one of those guys that's just a generally nice guy that it's hard to disagree with, but not one of those people that you just love to death and want to hang out with every single night.

Nobody on our floor leaves their door open at all, it's kind of lame. I can tell that people are in there, they just choose to not be social at all. So I haven't actually made any new friends yet, just people I knew from hanging out here before, or people from Westfield.

I don't really have anything too interesting or dramatic to say, so this is turning out to be a kind of lame post.

I did get placed from the wait-list into the class for my Into to Landscaping class, so I had to drop my Planet Earth class to make it fit, so I'm only at 14.5 hours now, but I also emailed the music department asking about ensembles and whatnot, so I'll probably round out to 15 or something. I've got to get myself over to the career center sometime soon though, get a job and whatnot.

I did think of something that irks me a little bit. I was supposed to see someone on my last day in Westfield to say goodbye, something I really wanted to do, and he totally blew me off, didn't even send me a text, and all because of some girl. I love this kid to death, and I can't imagine not knowing him, but when it comes to the law of bros-before-hoes, he's a grade-A Benedict Arnold. I don't even know if that was a correct reference, but you certainly get the point.

And as for leaving past worries behind where they belong, that kind of went out the window already. First notification that I had on Facebook after getting here was not something I particularly wanted to see, and then they were somewhat intoxicated last night and started texting me. It wasn't anything bad, just that they missed me already, and wanted to hang out next time I'm home, even if it meant waiting until Thanksgiving. Forgive me for being confused, because when I mentioned during my last week I'd like to get lunch or something, and they didn't respond at all when I was throwing out times, but clearly would like to hang out now that I'm gone.

So I ended up having some dish to talk about, but I've actually got to get going now, trying to be social this time around at the start of college.

Reflections in Pavement

I'm going to say for starters, that you can't really see a reflection in most pavement, and if you can then something is seriously weird.

I took Raven for a long walk today, it's been a while since I had any quality time with her. I might actually miss her and Jack more than anyone and anything. Yeah, they cause trouble and bark and I can't for the life of me keep them from smelling to high heaven, but there's something about a dog. I really regret spending so much time away from my house about now, because I'm not quite sure how dogs perceive things like someone not being around for weeks/months at a time. I'm sure they're aware that I'm in the house, but there are some days that I don't even look at them. I'm home for one more week, and that's totally gonna change.

Long walks also give you lots of thinking time, something that's always proved dangerous in the past for me.

The other night I said that this summer worked out exactly how it was supposed to, and it did. It worked out exactly how it was supposed to because that's what happened in the end. I'm not exactly ok with how everything has gone, not in the least, but that's how it all unfolded so that's that. I spent this summer digging for old opportunities that I'd previously tossed aside, and I regret that. I don't regret doing everything I can possibly think of to change someone's mind about me, but I somewhat regret letting it come up again when it was in the past. I don't see myself stopping either, because I'm a fickle guy and I'll fall flat on my face for the bait every single time. I've talked a lot more on the phone this summer too, which is a lot different from strictly texting. I've regretted a few of the phone calls I've made this summer, regretted them as much as anything I've done. I was at the band this morning too with Amanda again, I really wish I had been working with them this summer, as much as everyone has told me I need to distance myself from Westfield. I personally think they're full of bullshit, because I enjoy what I do there, and it would have been a great job. Today completely revealed something to me, in combination with the conversation from my last night frisbee conversation. Reading that score and listening to the band play along, it's obvious that there's no way that music is out of my life any time soon, along with something else that I'll leave unmentioned.

I got my scheduling done for the fall, and it really kicks ass. I didn't realize what it was like to go in and literally pick every single class you want, versus going in, being handed 14-17 hours of classes you're forced to take, and then getting to squeeze in an additional class if you can. Even the times of my classes kick ass.

Mon/Wed I start at noon. Yes, noon. And I'm done at 3.

Tues/Thurs/Fri I start at 10, not too bad either. Tues/Thurs I'm done at 4:20, Friday at 3.

I'm really happy with my classes, and they cover a really broad spectrum of topics.

International Policy and Affair.

Environmental Law.

Leadership Skills and Qualities.

Earths Environment and Its' Qualities.

Lab for Earths Environment^.

Elementary Meteorology.

Statesmen Vocal Group.

I'm currently wait-listed for Into to Landscaping, and I'll know about that next week.

I'm completely ready to be at Ball State and back in a college setting, I'm just not ready to be away from about 12 people or so, and if I could take them up to Ball State, and move a handful of locations up there too, I'd be the happiest guy in the world.

I've got to wrap this up soon. It hasn't really been a soul-bearing post or anything, but just kind of a reflection I suppose. I'll try to update this thing every other night or so while summer wraps up, and then I'll see what happens once I'm at Ball State.

And Another Chapter Closes

I've gone from my 10 day count down to my 7 day count down. In one week, I'll be sleeping in my bed for the last time for quite some time, and this time it feels like it's going to be a lot harder to leave than last year.

This summer, through all of it's good and bad, has just been such an impacting summer for me, and today really got me thinking.

I'd say I remembered what a good heartache felt like, which was one of those humbling things that proved I'm not quite as invincible as I tell myself I am. It'd been over 2 years since I let anything really get to me, so I think it was good to remember that.

There are so many people that I'm just not ready to let go of yet, these people are as good as family to me, and I'd gladly give my life for some of them. And recently I've seen the true natures of a few people who really shocked me. I'm just gonna list a few people that I'm just gonna be at a loss without because of this summer.

Collin, possibly more than anyone. Even just tonight, had the most awesome time playing night frisbee, and it might have been our last time for a while because he leaves on Sunday, and from our schedules, it sounds like I'm going to be lucky to see him one more time.

Bret, I'm sure I'll see him around, but it's been an interesting last two weeks or so. Things happen and people change, but I see Bret being around for the long haul.

Kaylee, probably out-ranks Bret. I can't even begin to say everything she's done this summer, and it sucks that she's in the position that she has to watch everyone leave and move out almost last among her friends. It doesn't start out too bad, but it gets harder and harder to see each person leave.

Tim, our paths will cross again, it may take a while, but it will happen soon or later.

Jessi, it's a shame we crapped out on hanging out, but we've got skype and the occasional visit back to little old Westfield.

In reality, there are dozens more people that I'm going to miss and think about, and I'm fortunate enough to have a handful of them up at Ball State with me, and I hope they know that I have no intentions of letting them slip away. I't fine to go to college and make new friends, but it's summers like this that prove that you can't turn your back on your old friends.

Even just typing this, I know it's going to be a lot more difficult to leave this year. I know I didn't get around to seeing a lot of the people that I wish I had, but I feel like everything kind of worked out exactly the way it was supposed to work out. There are definitely still some people that I would like to see at least one more time and have some kind of significant goodbye, but I don't know that I'll get that luxury.

I have a million things I want to say, but I'm getting more and more sleepy by the minute, so I'll wrap it up.

Life is funny, even when sometimes the jokes suck, and the best thing to do is smile as much as possible.