Breaking Winter

So in the last week, I managed to go through a full tank of gas. That's twice as fast as I usually do, and it wasn't like poor driving, I still got about 250 miles to the tank, which is about what I usually get. But I have no idea how I managed to drive so much in just one week. So now, since I have no money, I find myself stuck at home for a week.

My low fuel light came on last night too. My parents refuse to give me money for gas, because they're on this whole thing that I have to be responsible for myself and crap. And my dad insists that I have money because I've been working now. I guess he doesn't understand that just like him, I get paid every other week, and that the pay session just started a week ago. So I can't go anywhere now.

I just about got all my christmas stuff done for friends and what not. Family wise, they all get to share one thing, and Im sure that Im going to get a bunch of crap for spending that much because my parents told me not to spend more than 15 dollars on anyone. I spent closer to 70 on each of them...

Also, I really don't like it when friends tell me they feel bad because they didn't get me anything in return. That's so not what Christmas is about. Sure stuff is nice, but I like giving stuff more than getting stuff. To add to that, I like buying the stuff for other people as much as I like giving it to them, despite the fact that some people are near-impossible to shop for.

I will say this, one of my friends got me a crazy sweet present. I now own a sword, like a full out, legit sword. It looks like a pirate sword, which is just going to make my captain hook costume all the better.

This last week of school was crazy stressing.

I had various tests and quiz's all week. I had bowling monday, wednesday, and friday. I had two concerts to juggle into the evenings, a field trip, another "field trip" from the band. It was just crazy.

I seriously need to clean my house today. I'm probably gonna go take a shower, do some laundry and what not.

-Might have another blog for later tonight.

Red Cars and The Dinosaur Farm

I have a mind-splitting headache right now, so this could end up being a terribly random update.

I must have been successful in texting Twitter in my sleep, because during 3rd period I saw that I sent it a message near 4 in the morning that read as follows...

"Never going to make it to the dinosaur farms with all these red xars in the way."

Im noting that xars should probably be cars, because all the way down 146th street was just a ton of red cars. And Im moderately convinced that I "sleepwalk" to some extent. It's the only conclusion I can draw now. That's twice now that I've sent a text in a dream, only to find that I sent it in real life, and it explains the mornings after a dream where I had some kind of extreme physical activity that I feel super sore and tired. Needless to say, tonight, my phone will be a bit farther away.

And in all reality, until I start either eating, breaking things, or driving in my sleep, I think it's hilarious and I don't plan to do anything about it.

So you.

You started it over a year ago, and when I tried to make an inquiry, you made it nearly impossible. Im super glad we're friends, but gosh, I want my space back to some extent. And all the days you ask me what's wrong, the thing that's wrong at the moment is that I do need my space, and I want you to cut the whole thing.

And you.

With you, it somewhat similar to the one above. I wanted to get to know you because we'd be spending most of the year together. That's what my intentions were. You made the intentions skew, and now you're almost too far to turn around. Nothing against you, but I feel like you treat me like a trend among your friend.

One more.

Yeah. Make a decisive action, because you seem to float about a lot, and it doesn't really work quite like that.

There's probably more to say in the grand picture. But Im super tired, going to wake up at 2 am to teach myself my AP Stats stuff, because ever since I changed spots I don't understand shit in that class, and the guy that's in my chair seems to understand everything now. I want the magic chair back. But it's probably just me being crazy.

I'm in crazy need of a decompression time, because everything is just crazy now. All I do anymore is either stay at school or play music. And now I'll be working again. but Im really glad of that, because I need money really, REALLY badly. And I won't say that I didn't like what swimming like every day over the summer did, because Im just floating around a 39 waist.

Winter Break may be just what I need.

As always, questions, comments, concerns, blah de blah, direct at me, blah de blah.

Running on My Hands

So for the title first, the degrading stuff second.

Well, I've been having really vivid and realist dreams lately, more and more. One day I had a dream that I got in a fight and beat the crap out of somebody. The next two days I was incredibly sore, like I worked out for the first time in months or something.

Last night, I was at school and it was a normal day, only I can't think back to doing anything I would have normally done. Then it was bonus period, and I was in a gym running, like really fast. And after bonus period I had to get home really fast. So I ran all the way home and I was passing every single car I saw. But I stopped at stop signs. And at one stop sign I sent twitter a text, "Passed a lot of people." Then kept running. Why did I have to get home? I had to run on my hands once I got home before I had to go see a movie with Sarah. I got home and started running on my hands, but was really distracted because Kacie was pregnant, but I kept running anyway.

That was my dream. So two things.

In the dream, I was working my arms a ton. Today they're been really sore.

Also, I DID send that text, only it went to Tim because I guess he was the first one in my inbox thing. So not only do I get sore from my dreams, but I apparently text people in them too.

Now the terrible part.

...

Actually. I lost most of the words. That might be a good thing.

It was something along the lines of how terribly useless I am in the grand scheme of the world, and how I can't even complete my own goals, so how could I ever be of use to anything. Then it was about friends with divorced parents. and stuff. Yeah, it'll come back at a terrible time sometime later.

:|

Fly Guts

Um. So if you look on facebook or twitter, you will find that at about 2:40 today, I caught a fly in my hand. It was pretty cool, because what happened was I was at my computer and saw something out of the corner of my eye and I decided to grab it out of the air. What wasn't pretty cool was all of it's guts on my hand...

It's been a week since I blogged, and there actually has been significant stuff.

I'm using LimeGreen again, there's a hunk of 6 months missing though, shows how good I was at that haha. Took the ACT's again this morning. Unsure of how this one went. I felt like I was doing really well, but was scrambling to get the last 15 done each time. Had my audition for the musical on thursday. I felt like my acting was just ok, but my singing went pretty well.

There's a few roles I'd really like, but I don't think I'll get them in all honesty.

When I talked to Wessel a few weeks back about the musical, ok more like middle of first trimester, but when I asked her about it, she was keen on telling me lots of information about the barbershop quartet of teachers that's in it, and nothing else. Sure, I like barber shop, but they aren't like a full role in my eyes, because they all appear at once, and don't have as an individual. Ever.

And somebody, who will remain nameless, got REALLY cocky about the musical. And he used to be really humble about everything, but all he would talk about on thursday was how he had to get to his callback and stuff, and almost tried to put me down for not getting one. News flash: I've never gotten a callback for a musical, and I've gotten pretty good roles every time. Other new flash: I only got a call back once, and it was for probably the smallest role I've ever had, regardless of how funny it must have been to see me in a toga that was only 6 inches below my waist.

Now going onto thursday again, as soon as I got out of my audition musicals of three years past slapped me in the face. I walked out of the auditorium going through trumpet fingerings of "Singing in the Rain". Got to my car and realized I was humming "Baby, Talk to Me." Then while driving I started singing "Many Moons Ago" like I did nearly every day during last years musical, sadly it was a lot better than it ever was on stage. Then I remembered all the choreography from "Normandy". And finally, I thought about the scene within the Wizard's Chamber, and how Zack had flattered me by telling me every night that he was honored to have his last scene in high school be with me. Oh, nostalgia. You're a dirty little sneak.

Not Quite Dime-a-Dozen

Dime-a-Dozen is going to be my next tangent, but I think it's going to be quite time consuming, and I don't have the time for that.

In short, it will most likely end up being a rant on today's teenagers, and their mediocre uniformness to one another. It hit me last night at the concert for the invisible children, when I looked around and noticed that maybe 1 in every 30 girls there stood out from the rest. Even in height they were all the same. Same hair style, clothes, attitude, fawning look at the ones on stage that they all so willingly deemed hot.

It pretty much made me sick, and I lost a lot of hope for the future of creativity and being an individual.

But enough, different tangent now.

So Chris...

The trumpet choir this year is playing Sonoran Desert Harmonies. It's a pretty cool piece, and it's not that hard at all. But what Chris is demanding of the group is a bit extreme. He has the group meeting essentially every day during bonus period. Something that I can't do, as I've explained to him several times, that I'm an officer in clubs that meet every single bonus period, and I need to be there. Still, he plans them for when I can't attend, so naturally, I'm not there.

Well I think that my group has meet, once? And an entire group meeting once? I can't help that I have meetings to run, and missed those things.

Over this three day weekend, I had limited things planned anyway, and set aside a large portion of time for music. Well Michael Block informed me during jazz band that Chris had gone off trash talking me after school, and that he was moving me to a different part because I messed up a rhythm that appears 6 times, each time. Otherwise though, I did fine. But anyway, after playing it for easily 3 hours yesterday, Chris called me. As always, I did not answer, and listened to his voicemail. He told me that he was switching my part, and putting me on 4th. I didn't call back.

In fact, I'm playing it that I don't even know where my phone is. I don't even plan to have it at school until wednesday actually now. It's going to turn out to be in my tux pants that I wore for choir on thursday. Thus, I never got his voicemail, and thus I continued to practice my part, and have it neatly polished.

Im too good at this.

But the way he was acting to my attendance reminded me of something, granted my case is not nearly as severe.

Marching band.

Chris missed probably 4 of 5 practices on average.

Chris never came to sectionals.

Chris was constantly late when he did show up.

Chris's not being there constantly threw off the rest of the section

He simply ignored my constant warnings and threats to him.

And now the tables are turned.

I missed practices that he had wanted me at.

But on the contrary. I told him I couldn't go on those days, and there's only been two.

The difference is though, that I am still section leader.

But here's my thought.

Why should I not act exactly as he did in order to make a point?

I've done it thus far, and he's furious. He's understanding what he made me feel like during marching band, regardless of wether he notices it or not.

So I might just go on with poor attendance, and not care what he has to say about it, just as he did during marching band.

Eating your own medicine sucks.

Brick Walls, Painted White

Today I was asked a strange question, which was made slightly awkward because of who was around when it was asked. Bless your hearts little underclassmen, not really.

So I was minding my own business, for once I really was I swear. Along came a group of sophomores and freshmen, more so freshmen, who think that we're "great" friends. I couldn't name them all if you paid me. At first it was just kind of the normal conversation that occurs, hi, how's life, blah de blah de blah. Then, slipped into the conversation as if it was totally normal, was a question that only one other person has asked me not on a one-to-one basis, that person being Dimitrius, gotta love that kid.

"John, do you have a girlfriend?"

Had it not taken me for such a loop, I probably would have started laughing.

I asked why they wanted to know. I also became aware that they were all listening quite intently, and that I was surrounded by a mob of underclassmen girls.

They replied that according to facebook, I was married, and asked for an explanation.

OK, hold the line for one second. I didn't even know I was friends with these people on facebook!

Alright, stop holding the line, you'll get a rope-burn.

I informed them that I am not married, nor in a relationship of any sort. I also tried to find a way to escape because I was against a wall.

Another chimed in, asking "how come?"

*Note here* If you don't know me, my morals are kind of super-binding about relationships. I didn't want to explain them to them either.

I simply told them because. And being like twice their size and older, what were they gonna do about it? Because in that situation, "because" becomes quite an acceptable answer.

They continued to tell me that I should have a girlfriend because Im a senior and I know a lot of people. -Im still laughing that "because Im a senior, Im supposed to have a girlfriend"

I told them that just because I'm a senior, that doesn't mean I want nor need a girlfriend.

"But who are you going to prom with?!"

Really now?I don't know, and right now don't care. That's the other end of the year.

And with that, I got a text message, which I played off as a phone call so I could walk away to "talk". I don't think the timing of that message could have been much better.

Now aside from the question itself that was awkward and random, was that I'm 100% sold that at least two of the girls in that group are crushing on me. Flattering, yet undesired. They'll soon come to the cold hard realization, and probably crush on some other senior that has no interest in them. Poor, silly underclassmen.

But that actually got me thinking, because I ended up running through my morals in my head, and I deemed that they needed some tweaking.

Everything good and grand(the stuff that was part of my morals previously) still stands.

But I deemed this while trying to think as realistically as I could and not make myself any kind of exception to the entire male gender.

For starters, there's always gonna be cute girls who would be dateable, and being a guy in high school, Im probably going to end up noticing them. Some of those girls are soon labeled as "second place" girls.

Because, though not confirmed because males often lack the wording, there's almost always one girl who "takes the cake". The one that if you were to be in a relationship with anyone, you would pick that one. Im not saying that I have one or not, that's not what this post is about.

I came to the conclusion of this.

To end up in a relationship with a "second place" person, is just unfair to both persons. I would probably end up still pursuing the one who "takes the cake", despite the other girl. And that I would probably treat her as such, like second place. That just sets people up to get hurt.

So the additional moral is...

"Second place" girls, are officially off limits as well.

A "second place" may only become applicable if the "first place" becomes off limits due to other restricting morals.

A very binding rule, even I think so. But not matter which way I ran with the idea, I felt that it was correct.

Im sure that some day this will be brought up, and someone will find a way to say that Im totally wrong about all my morals and stuff. Don't care. My life, my set of morals.

I also regret that I was unable to find better terminology for each girl, because "second place" and "takes the cake" just seems terribly degrading to me, which goes to another moral, go figure.

That's all for this really odd post. I promise not to have many more of these, if any.

Questions,

Comments,

Concerns,

You know how to reach me.

Well, if you're reading this, hopefully you know me well enough to know how to reach me. If not, you're just really, really creepy.