Forced Expectations

It's the last day of the year, and I'm writing for the third time. It's not a great record to break, but for a long time I was in a place where I didn't need to write. Winter break brought up a lot of things that I forgot about though, and I don't feel like I've got anybody to talk to about them, so here I am.

Over the summer I worked in a hotel full time, and it was the best and worst job I've had in my life. I've had jobs where I got along with my coworkers, but never a job where I became invested in them as people, not until Marriott. I knew I was only there for the summer and that my days were limited, but I was planning to stay on and work during holidays, stay with those connections and those people, build my career with a great company. I knew my managers were largely full of shit, most people are but just don't get the chance to prove it, but when they got the chance to prove it, they sure took it. I'll always remember my last day, I got to work like normal to find our front desk staff asleep in a booth and a guest standing there awkwardly because he was the only staff on the property before I got there for my breakfast shift. I ended up getting him fried that day. I'm sure I caused a ripple effect, because he was dating someone from the dinner shift who happened to be the daughter of the assistant manager. This guy also was the brother of an employee who was moving from the dinner shift to the breakfast shift because they're unable to keep people in the morning shift. My general manager also overheard me saying that she gets in the way in the kitchen, she addressed myself and my coworker in an extremely unfair and one-sided manner, not talking with us but rather talking at us, and seemed offended with I forced myself into the conversation to defend myself. A good manager would have taken that opportunity to find out why her employees think she gets in the way and how she could change that.

Despite all of that, I was still going to go back because of a few coworkers who I was close with, only to find that two things had happened. First, most of those coworkers finally had their fill and left the property, only two people I enjoyed remained. Second, they terminated me back in October without giving me any notice. So I am currently between a couple options; I've been researching what rights I have in regards to my termination, toying around with what a suit of a wrongful termination would get me, how to contact HR without having my employee account because I need to know the grounds of my termination, and if I should do my best to drop a bomb on them with the evidence of countless forms being forged during the time that I worked there. And this whole thing is just a drop in the bucket of life experiences.

My room at my parents house is still decorated as it was during my time in high school, posters from musicals, senior pictures, books that haven't been touched in years, all relics of another life and another person. It always invokes from intense memories and nostalgia, both good and bad, but next time I'm home for a long time I think I'm going to put a lot of that stuff away. Some people like to think that they haven't changed since those times, other people can't express how much they've changed, and I don't think either of those is correct nor incorrect.

Over break, I realized just how few people I am still connected with that I at one point considered to be family and there wasn't a thing I wouldn't do for them, and I think I need to break those ties I have remaining with most people, some temporarily and some for good. Most of those ties, it's more of a burden to keep them than they're worth, I didn't think I would ever say it, but break made me realize how much most of those people don't know me anymore. There are only two people at this point I don't think I need to break off from my life, and it's because they've been a constant part of my life and we've been involved with each other growing into adults. It just blows my mind when people who see me maybe 5 times a year for one evening, d