An Honest Asshole

I admire an honest and upfront approach more than anything, because to show that kind of vulnerability to someone takes a lot of balls in my book. And that's how I like to deal with problems are have side-effects that actually get to me, by being upfront, honest and blunt about it.

This summer has blown everything out of the water with different things going on. And I finally got to the end of the things I really wanted to say this summer.

As I was searching for the way I needed to say what I was going to say for one final time, I started to feel sick to my stomach, something that has never happened before.

And sending that message made me feel great, just getting it out there and that weight off of my mind. But that kind of feeling doesn't last to the morning, and all morning I felt like such an asshole about the whole thing, and I never should have said anything.

And then to have it come around and wind up like it did-

---------I have to say that I think I hate the word wind the most, because I type something like I just did and I see wind, as in a breeze, but I know that I want wind, like a twisting or rotating motion, or in this case a finishing.------------------------

-like it did just makes me feel even worse.

I have to go back to what I constantly think though. What happened, happened, and it wont change because it's already been done. And now I have to deal with the reality of the situation that I've put myself into.

I really hate this feeling.