Everyone has those days where they just feel "off", but a week of this worries me. But tonight I'm letting go of a sigh of relief. She said she just hasn't felt like herself, and we talked about it for a little bit. I told her she's not been herself at all, and it's obvious, and some other junk. The conversation seemed to end on a good note, and I'm glad.
I've gotta give a shout-out to a select individual who has gone beyond the expectations of a normal friend, though I'm doing my best to avoid names I'm sure this person knows who they are. I can't thank them enough just for being who they are and so much more.
I was digging through my phone trying to figure out where all of my memory was tied up and found myself in my drafts folder. Now I mentioned this on twitter, but didn't want to say too much.
Reading them, there were lots of strange typos and mistakes, which is unlike me. Looking at the date it was written, I realized I very well could have been somewhat intoxicated that night. But pretty much, these messages were right on with how I still feel, though some things have changed, and I would only send one of them now. Some of them were confessions, something drunken John is amazing at, and everyone who had a message was told many many times just how much they mean to me.
I kind of wish those messages had gotten sent, but I guess I still didn't feel confident enough to say those things, only to type them. It doesn't matter, I left with those "what-ifs", and I'll most likely always have them, though in total honesty, I think I've knocked down 3 of my biggest "what-ifs," though there's one itching at me more and more. That's just life, and it has an interesting way of showing you where you're really supposed to be when you least expect it and I'm getting better at just going with it.
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