Third day of school, I only have 3 real classes, and I have more homework than I had in a week last year. I like my classes for the most part. Im border-line ADHD in like all of them, because I don't feel like we actually learn anything, because almost everything we've done has been working on our own. I just need to get back into the swing of things, now is not the time to be standing flat-footed.
People in society wear masks for different reasons. All the way back to Shakespearian plays people wear masks. But there's different types. Im guilty of wearing masks socially, a lot. I had a facebook status the other day, "John Steele just slapped himself so hard with reality that the mask he was wearing cracked, lets see what happens." That was meant in so many different ways. Other people wear masks just like I do, some are plain to see, others aren't.
Im not sure who I was, just that I wasn't me. Im a totally imperfect person. I don't want to be perfect, just good enough to deserve what I have in life, which seems harder and harder to do every day. The most notable time that I remember wearing one was last fall, just after Black Friday, after a close friend called me out on it. That friend was a bit extreme, but I did appreciate the concern, and I did my best to change. But I now blame that same friend for the insane amount of stress that I now feel. This summer we hung out a good amount, often with other people. This person has been my closest friend for going on 4 1/2ish years, and we even worked together over the summer. Over the last month they have grown distant and some days flat out rude to me. I've asked around, and Im not the only one to notice this. I changed as a response to my friends sudden change. Im done with that. Im going to be who I am, and I don't give a shit what that person thinks. Im going to be loud when I want to be loud. Im going to think what I want to think about stuff. Im going to like who I want to like.
I run into this crossroad. I want to remain to my goal, to be one-of-a-kind and un-replaceable, but that requires winning this friend back. But as I see it now, that means that I can no longer be me, because that me isn't good enough for them. I truly think that I know what is secretly going on behind my back, but for now I just don't know.
My tip to society. Take of the damn masks, people can't see your eyes when they're on.
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